domingo, 12 de diciembre de 2010
Were we go
-I mean, what if something happens to one of us and just makes us go crazy? I mean, what if I'm walking by a construction site and something falls, and then my frontal lobe gets chopped off and my personality's altered and then I'm not a good dad? What happens then?
-Well, be careful walking near construction sites.
-What about Munch?
-She'll be careful walking near construction sites, too.
-No, really. I mean, don't you just look at her and want to give her
everything that she's ever wanted? It is so incredibly unfair that she can't...
-Yeah, you're right. It's unfair that she can't have a baby and that bad parents
still get to be parents and good parents die when their daughters are in college. So what?
-I'm sorry, 'Rona.
-Look, all we can do is be good for this one baby. We don't have control over much else.
-Will you marry me? At least.
-Never. I will never leave you.
-No, I know.
-You... You promised never to marry me because you don't want to get married without your parents there. I get that. You promise never to leave me. Do you promise to never leave this baby that we are having?
-I promise. I do. Do you promise to stop talking about your ability to find or not find my vagina after I give birth?
-I do. Do you promise to let me cobble...
-...to carve in my spare time, and teach our daughter the lore of the great Mississippi?
-I do. Do you promise never to develop a thing for seahorses?
-I do. Good. Do you promise to let our daughter be fat or skinny or any weight at all? Because we want her to be happy, no matter what. Being obsessed with weight is just too cliché for our daughter.
-Yes, I do. Do you promise, when she talks, you'll listen? Like, really listen, especially when she's scared? And that her fights will be your fights?
-I do. And do you promise that if I die some embarrassing and boring death that you're gonna tell our daughter that her father was killed by Russian soldiers in this intense hand-to-hand combat in an attempt to save the lives of 850 Chechnyan orphans?
-I do. Chechnyan orphans. I do. I do…